Cutting Through the Noise: How to Talk to Kids About Sin

Question: How can we effectively, wisely, and winsomely talk to kids about sin?

A commercial about drugs ran frequently on my childhood television. It urged parents to “talk to your kids about drugs before someone else does.” Salient, urgent advice for anyone in tune with the prevailing blight of drug addiction in those days. A protective lesson about drugs provided a clarifying voice in a noisy, national conversation. Speaking first and setting the narrative around drug use proved invaluable then.

Today (and all days past and future), a world of noise surrounds the topic of sin. What is it? Where does it come from? What does it do? And many more questions from there. Faithful Christian parents and pastors hold the solemn responsibility to answer these questions in a way that cuts through the noise. In other words, talk to your kids about sin before someone else does. 

How can pastors, parents, and children’s leaders speak first and establish the biblical narrative around sin in ways that will prove invaluable to Christian kids (Proverbs 22:6)? Let’s consider five key words to remember when talking to kids about the difficult doctrine of sin. 

Speak with Loving Honesty

Two challenges intersect at this first point. On one hand, we need to be truthful and transparent when discussing sin with children. On the other hand, we must communicate truth on their level in a way that addresses them according to their ability to understand. Thus, we should avoid sugarcoating or minimizing the seriousness of sin while employing age-appropriate language and examples. Proverbs 15:2 says, “The lips of the wise make knowledge acceptable [or attractive].” Following this principle can prove difficult when discussing a difficult concept like sin.  

Have you played the old-timey game Shoot the Moon, which requires you to control two wooden sticks on which a metal ball travels down the line? If you keep the sticks in careful tension, the ball will eventually drop into a higher-scoring divot in the wood base. Move the sticks carelessly, and the ball will fall prematurely through the sticks. 

When talking to kids about sin, we must keep the values of honesty and love in proper tension. Speaking about sin in graphic detail might be honest while failing at love. Conversely, speaking in protective generalities might be loving while sacrificing effective honesty. Making these sticks work together with proper tension will increase the conversation’s effectiveness and value. 

In the absence of a one-size-fits-all conversation plan, we must each depend on the wisdom of God and others to know precisely how to dialog with every unique child in our care. We can do this by encouraging open dialog and inviting questions, which can grow understanding and trust. 

Speak with Gospel Hope 

The commercials I mentioned earlier operated on a fear motivation. Certainly, on the topic of sin, a healthy fear motivates children and adults to fight against it. However, a stronger motivation exists: gospel hope (Romans 6:6-11).

In the gospel, hope shines as a prime motivator to care about sin, repent, and fight sin. The gospel offers hope that outshines the allure of sin, and on the backdrop of sin, hope shines brightest. Hope for what is past, what is present, and what is to come. When we speak with children about sin, we should include a strong, hopeful overtone of Jesus’ power to help us when we encounter sin in ourselves and others. 

With time and practice, ideas become sown together in our minds. When one comes to mind, it triggers another. For instance, when I say “Abraham Lincoln,” you might think of freedom. Or when I say the word “cow,” you might think of hamburgers and steaks. 

When kids (or adults, for that matter) think of sin, what word or idea comes to mind next? As we invest theology in our kids, we exercise some control over the next idea in line. So here’s a question: What do you want your kids to think right after sin comes to mind? Some might say “wrath.” Others might say, “repent.” Those are certainly important ideas. But I’d like the kids who grow up in my church to immediately think, “There’s hope.” Only the hope of Christ in the gospel can equip our kids with the comfort and motivation to respond to sin in biblical ways (Romans 15:13). 

Speak with Humble Transparency

Kids need humble examples of sinners who know their own need for grace (Romans 3:23). Sometimes, conversations about sin draw a line between us and them. We are on the good guys’ team, and the sinners are over there, on the bad guys’ team. So, Johnny, don’t be on the bad guys’ team. This approach displays pride in ourselves and provokes pride in others while also hampering our focus on moving close to those who need Christ and His answers. 

We all come into this life pre-programmed by the Fall to think in classes and cliques of people. On the playground, children sort out the haves from the have-nots, the ins from the outs, the rich from the poor, and the good from the bad. But in reality, we’re all have-nots in need of grace. Thus, we should strive to instill in the children we minister a clear sense of our personal need for grace and the opportunity God gives us to show grace toward others. Such an investment in children’s hearts requires a humble transparency about our own sin. Yes, it’s true that our transparency should be appropriate, wise, and winsome. Unearthing our deepest, darkest skeletons will not show love and wisdom. For most of us, though, our tendency is not to glorify our failings but to hide them. So it’s likely we all need to be more transparent to help children know we, too, are sinners in need of change.

Speak with Heart Focus

Most of us experience another tendency: an outward perspective on sin. If not guarded, it leads us to cast sin purely in the pall of bad behavior. Since we see sin most easily in the actions of people, it makes good sense that we might underemphasize the heart-centeredness of sin (Proverbs 4:23). The Bible doesn’t make this mistake but instead directs our attention to the true source, our hearts; while keeping focused on the fruit of behavior as well. David Powlison notes, “Scripture never separates motive and behavior. The mirror of Scripture exposes both. The lamp of Scripture guides both. The grace and power of Jesus Christ change both root and fruit.” 

I cringe at how cheesy it sounds, but truly, the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart. Children cannot accurately understand the nature and workings of sin without seeing sin centered in people’s hearts. We’re not sinful because we sin, but we sin because we’re sinful. The subtle distinction between those two statements makes a world of difference. Do we want children to fight against sin at the earliest possible moment? Of course we do. And it stands to reason we must teach them to do their Christian battle at the heart level, learning to strike with the weapons of faith at the root of the ugly tree (Jeremiah 17:5-10).¹ 

Think of it this way. If a giant weed grows up in your yard, you can deal with it two ways. You can use bonsai snips to remove the leaves. It might look better, but the leaves will sprout again. Or you can use a spade and dig up the offending weed from beneath, dislodging the roots and removing the problem. How we speak to children about sin will help them do one or the other. Give them bonsai snips, and the Law may produce rule-followers. But give them a spade, with a working heart knowledge of sin and grace will produce Christ-lovers.²

Speak with Heedful Encouragement

All of the above leads us to this final way of speaking with children about sin: heedfully. An honest, hopeful, humble heart focused on the doctrine of sin opens the door to encourage respectful attention and obedience to God’s instructions regarding sin. The Bible gives direct and strong instruction for dealing with sin (Ephesians 6:10-17). 

Fighting with Spiritual Armor: Ephesians 6:10-17 uses the metaphor of a soldier putting on armor to depict the Christian’s fight against sin. The “weapons” are truth, righteousness, faith, and the word of God.

Putting Sin to Death: Romans 6:6-11 describes sin as a slave master, but through faith in Christ, we are freed from its power. We are called to “put to death” our sinful desires.

Overcoming Sin: 1 Corinthians 9:27 uses the analogy of an athlete disciplining their body for competition. We are to discipline ourselves to overcome sin.

Cutting off Sin: Matthew 5:30 instructs us (spiritually) to cut off any part of us that engages in sin. 

Strong words like these fill the Bible’s treatment of sin. We should, therefore, follow suit, encouraging and helping the kids we love to heed the Bible’s wisdom for God’s glory and their own gladness in Christ. 

Conclusion

Equipping our children with a biblical understanding of sin empowers them to navigate life’s challenges. By speaking with loving honesty, gospel hope, humble transparency, heart focus, and heedful encouragement, we create a foundation for Christ-centered living. This open dialogue allows children to grapple with sin, embrace God’s grace, and flourish in their faith journey. Remember, we’re all on this journey together, learning and growing in the hope of Christ.

Recommended Resources:

How People Change by Paul Tripp and Tim Lane

Diehard Sins: How To Fight Wisely against Destructive Daily Habits by Rush Witt

Caring for the Souls of Children by Amy Baker, ed.

Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin by Cornelius Plantinga Jr. 

The Doctrine of Original Sin by Jonathan Edwards

©2024 Rush Witt. Used with permission.

1. See also the “Heat, Thorns, Cross Fruit” model within the book How People Change by Paul Tripp and Tim Lane; sometimes, the model goes by the name “Three Trees.” ↩︎
2. The distinction between rule-followers and Christ-lovers came to me through Dr. Mark Liederbach. ↩︎