Reflecting on Family Blessings

“Daddy, I drew this for you,” my five-year-old grandson, Zion, said last night as he handed a sheet of paper to my son-in-law Destin. Destin thanked Zion, flipped the paper over, and read the message written opposite the drawing. “I love you.” It is a simple three-word message with the power to move a mountain of discouragement. Can I keep this? Destin asked.

I was glad Destin planned to keep the drawing. I have a file of drawings my children have given me over the years. They help me remember what I’m all too likely to forget. As a pastor, I confront problems weekly and often daily. Reviewing the blessings you’ve received from your family can fight discouragement and stir up a fresh wave of gratitude and faith for continued service in ministry.

After 31 years of parenting, we’ve recently repainted our home. The goal was to get things presentable again (for a short season) before our growing grandkids took over from where our children left off, leaving a new round of dings and dents. As I re-evaluated which of the many wall decorations I would rehang, there were a few non-negotiable items, such as a framed photo collection of my children they gave me one Christmas

My six children cooperated to take black and white portraits of each other, all dressed up, and assemble them in a six-panel picture frame. Reflecting on the gift, I remembered how the unified whole of the assembly of photos built my faith as we were enduring a few serious parenting challenges in that season. The picture represents the love my kids have for each other and us as parents, and it will go down as one of my favorite all-time Christmas gifts.

Another non-negotiable wall decoration is my wedding photo. It is hard to believe I’m one of those two “kids” in the frame, now looking back thirty-five years. But more than a snapshot in time, the photo reminds me of my wife’s faithfulness, the greatest gift she’s given me as a pastor. While we’ve had our spats, my wife Lois has never let the sun go down on her anger, always welcomed me by her side, has remained faithful, and endured the many challenges thrown at a pastor’s wife. 

I reread the two plaques, which will forever hang in the dining room, presented to my wife Lois and me one Christmas. The left plaque is entitled “Dear Dad” and contains a short paragraph of encouragement that begins,  “You’re the best Dad in the whole world! We are so blessed to have you as our Dad.” It is signed, “Your two favorite sons, Nathan and Noah.” The encouragement to the right is written to my wife by my daughters. The two plaques stand guard in our dining room, ready to battle against discouragement when trials press in.

Sometimes, simple encouragements in life carry deeper meanings that should be remembered. When I leave the house for work and drive up my street, I look over to our dining room window to see my wife waving her hand goodbye. I know I’m important enough to her in life that she would take the time to offer a sweet farewell. When I travel, my wife hides notes in my suitcase. 

As my children grew older and their college schedules got crazy, we missed our family meals. We decided to do our best to preserve one day a week – Monday nights for “Family Night.” After getting married and moving an hour away, my oldest son Nathan still drives his family home for “Family Night.” My one son, who lives far away in Arizona, can’t join us. However, my other five children and our grandchildren still reserve Monday evening for a family dinner, and my son in Arizona joins in by video chat.

If you’re a pastor’s wife or a pastor’s kid reading this post, look for an opportunity to honor your pastor dad/husband. Slip a note into his lunch or tell him to watch as he drives away to see you waving your goodbye. Surprise him with a letter that shares the many ways he’s encouraged you, or have that message or a picture of you framed and give it to him for Father’s Day. Hold your hug a little longer, and whisper your love in his ear. The simple blessings carry the most incredible honor.

Pastor Dad, don’t let the challenges of life and ministry cancel out the encouragements. Keep the blessings in mind to help you run the race to win the crown of life the “Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12).

©2024 Marty Machowski. Used with permission.