Two Simple Ways to Show Appreciation for Your Pastor

Church leaders, the way that you show or don’t show appreciation to your pastor will often set the tone for the rest of the church. How can you encourage your pastor and lead the way in outdoing one another in showing honor? (Romans 12:10b).

The Need for Pastoral Encouragement

According to a recent Barna study, fewer and fewer pastors are feeling supported. In 2015, nearly 70% of pastors said they “frequently felt well-supported by people close to them.” In 2022, only 49% said they feel this frequently. In a Lifeway Research poll the same year, 63% of pastors said that stress is a mental challenge they are facing in ministry, and nearly half of pastors shared that discouragement looms large.

Speaking from personal experience and conversations with many pastor friends, most pastors don’t want their congregations to think we need to be handled with care or constantly appreciated. It is simply that the weight of ministry, the feeling of never having done enough, and the spiritual attacks are constant.

“Pastoral PTSD” is real. After almost two decades in full-time ministry, I now ask church members what subject they would like to discuss before a meeting. Most church members don’t ask for a meeting to tell you how thrilled they are with how things are going at the church. A meeting usually means a problem in the church, a concern with your leadership, or a personal problem they need help with. We literally signed up for this, but it is the constant burden-bearing that begins to weigh a pastor down. I remember one meeting with a lady who had attended our church for about a year. Due to recent church conflicts, my mind immediately went to, “She must be leaving the church or have significant theological differences.” Yet when we sat down, she shared how much she was growing spiritually at our church and how she wanted to be baptized and become a member!

I realized I needed to lean into the encouragement that God gives rather than always expecting the worst. Your pastor might be in a similar season, and you might be a tool that God uses to help keep him fruitful and enduring in ministry. Here are two simple ways to show appreciation to your pastor.

1.  Follow Your Pastor’s Leadership

When any church member—especially a church leader—follows a pastor’s leadership, it fosters encouragement and longevity in ministry. Hebrews 13:17 commands, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” There is a way to follow a pastor’s leadership that brings joy to the pastor and that is good for the health of the congregation. But the Holy Spirit points out through the author of Hebrews that there is also a way to not follow a pastor’s leadership that makes him groan and that decelerates ministry.

Sure, there are pastors who need to be reminded that they will have to give an account to God for their leadership. But there are way too many pastors who would be encouraged and stay longer at their churches if their sheep tried to follow their leadership better.

At one point fairly early into my ministry at my current church, we needed to do some sanctuary renovations. I had never planned to lead the church into a major change that soon but needs and opportunities pointed to God leading us in that direction, as it would help the church to flourish. In a business meeting, one well-respected and long-time church member stood up and simply said, “Our pastor thinks this will help our church. Let’s do this together.” The meeting could have ended then, as it was a turning point.

In conflicts, one thing that God has used to buoy me up and keep me serving has been people in leadership who were not afraid to ask hard questions, but who supported my ministry and followed my leadership. Are you doing the same for your pastor?

2.  Love Him and His Family Faithfully

Small and regular acts of love for a pastor and his family go a long way. Pastors and their families do not need their hands held. They are in ministry to serve you and the congregation. But intentional, thoughtful encouragement of your pastor and his family as a way of life breeds joy and longevity in ministry while building a church culture of honor.

Some of the best ways to love your pastor and his family well may not seem obvious at first glance. Yet serving in church, regularly being in church, and praying for your pastor and his family are some of the best encouragements you can give. In a world of competing loyalties such as Sunday sports or sleeping in, church leaders and members who are an example in their regular attendance mean a lot to a pastor. He has prepared a spiritual feast. Will the family come to the table? In addition, having church members who are eager to serve gives a pastor confidence and joy that his church is fulfilling what God has for them (Romans 12:11). It also frees him up to spend more time shepherding and doing the work of the ministry instead of scrambling to fill ministry needs. Praying corporately for your pastor and his family regularly, whether in prayer meetings, Sunday School classes, or small groups, is another incredible way to show appreciation. Pastors feel the need for prayer constantly but are sometimes hesitant to ask for prayer since they want to look to the needs of others.

More ideas to love your pastor and his family include loving his kids well, helping with home projects, and making sure that his salary meets his family’s needs. Whether it is through offering childcare for a date night or retreat or stopping by with cookies for my kids, church members have loved me and my wife well through loving our kids. We have saved thousands of dollars over the years through church members willing to lend their skills for an afternoon on a home project I had no idea how to complete. Making sure that a pastor’s salary meets their financial needs relieves stress and allows him to focus more on ministry.

Simply being in tune with needs as a pastor’s family goes through life, as other church members are also cared for, can be a great help. When we suddenly took in twin foster babies, our church family provided meals for us for a month, which kept that good work sustainable and showed us the church’s great love for us and for the fatherless.

The relationship between a pastor and his congregation is a lot like the relationship between a shepherd and his sheep. Pastors know that they will get bit sometimes by sheep and that some seasons of ministry will leave them “smelling like the sheep.” But showing year-long appreciation by following your pastor’s leadership and looking for ways to love him and his family will help him to endure in ministry with joy as he leads you to the great shepherd of the sheep, Jesus (Hebrews 13:20).

©2023 Tim Counts. Used with permission.